My Only Ray of Light
by SoMuchFeels
Summary: 'To me, who have countless amounts of scars and wounds, you are the only ray of light. And hence you, are the only one that can save me from the darkness.  However, I will keep it inside of my mind...I will never speak it aloud.' I do NOT own Bleach.
1. Prologue

Hi! So… I decided (sort of? XD) to write another story.

It seemed that someone (AHEM Hollow Ichigo- Ichigo! Lol! ^^) wanted a HichiIchi fan fiction from me badly. Haha XD

This is what I've been writing in my language someplace else.

I decided to...translate it to post the story here. I'm not even sure if the translation is done correctly o.o LOL xD

I hadn't gotten so far in developing the story, so please don't ask me too much for the next story or for longer chapters. I am working on other stories, and this is just an extra to what I am writing. I may update late, and I may have shorter chapters. Please forgive me for that. You have to have these things in mind when you are going to be reading this story. So- No complaints.

Well About the ratig, I always mark it M for some reason :P Maybe because of…cursing? Violence? Idk XD haha

This is the Prologue.

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><p><strong>My Only Ray of Light<strong>

**Prologue **

…

_I never got to say that I love him._

_Until the day I had died…Not even a word…_

_Why had I stated a line full of hypocrites…?_

_I only stroked pain that will leave him scars_

_I only gave him disappointments about me._

…

_What's left… is only guilt._

_However… after a hundred years have passed_

_The only emotions that are left are…_

_**Hatred…**_

_The feeling called hatred…is roaming in my mind…_

_I never got to solve the misunderstandings…_

_What's left… is regret._

_One poor soul wandering around in __v__ain..._

_And…_

_Because he is not a human_

_He who could not die_

_And because he could not abandon the strand of hope_

_He who decided to live…_

_Is a stupid living dead._

'_I never…loved.'_

'_Those craps are all trash.'_

'_They will get in my way.'_

'_Throw it away. It's only the past.'_

_Humans… Who have led __me to fall._

_I will feel pleasure my giving them agony,_

_And I will replace my rage with that kind of lunatic emotion._

_And…_

_I would later…_

_Fall into deepest darkness._

_Haha….ha…_

_I would fall more than the bastards_

_And fall to the bottom_

_And then – When I cannot manage myself anymore_

_I would…_

_Eventually become a monster…_

'_As I have burnt my chest_

_As if I have dug it with tear_

_The inerasable wounds are painful…'_

_(It's a Korean Drama OST XD haha I just translated it however I wanted it.) _

(After the "... ..." typed in two lines (or what is it o.o), it's a different perspective.)

_I am just so brainless_

_And I want to sigh as I pull out my hair with my own hands._

_Dare? Omae wa…_

_(Who are you?)_

_Naze…Naze Omae wa ore ni…ittai ja ne ga?_

_(Why…Why are you causing me so much pain?)_

_Doushidayo?_

_(What's the reason?)_

_Doushida kimi ni…_

_(Why must you…do this to me?)_

_Boku wa kimi ni suki ja ne da._

_(I love you.)_

_Demo…anata wa… boku ni suki ja nai ga?_

_(However…You…don't love me?)_

_Itte yo..Itte..ITAI!_

_(It hurts…Hurts…HURTS!)_

_Boku ni Taskete…_

_(Save me…)_

_Boku no "MU" ni tasketekure!_

_(Save me from the nothing I'll become!)_

_Boku no kokoro wa itai ne…  
>(My heart hurts so much…)<em>

_DOUSHIDAYO?  
>(WHY?)<em>

_Kimi wa boku ni taskete ja nai ga?_

_(Aren't you going to save me?)_

_Suki…?_

_(Love…?)_

_HA USAGENNA! URUSAI!_

_(HA! STOP SHITTIN' AROUND! SHUT UP!)_

_BAKA YARO! KOREWA TACHI WA USO DA! USO! USO! USO! BOKU WA ANO AHO NI SUKI JA NAI! DATTE YAMERO! _

_(STUPID BASTARD! THOSE CRAPS ARE ALL LIES! LIES! LIES! I DID NOT LOVE THAT IDIOT! SO STOP!)_

_Suki? Boku wa itai…_

_(How can I love when it hurts so much…)_

_SHINE… (AU: Not "shine" In English. It is pronounced as Shi-neh.)_

_DIE…_

… _(No Romanized Japanese here)_

_Along with that "Love" Crap that you blabber about…_

…_DAMN IT!_

_..._

_... (AN:That's a new perspective)_

_Sou..Sou deska…_

_(Is..Is that so...)_

_You want me to die..._

_If that's what you want me to do then I'll gladly do that for your sake._

_demo..._

_(However...)_

_I cannot obey your commend of having to desert my love to you._

_Ah...iie...Nande monai. _

_(Ah...no..It's nothing.)_

_I'll just reverse this feeling to hatred._

_Boku wa ano "Suki" ni chiisai des._

_(I'll abandon the feeling called "love".)_

_OMAE WA HITORI! _

_(You are alone!)_

_Sore wa watashi ni kizutsukeru yo, demo- Boku wa Anata ni chiisai..._

_(With tear trickling down my cheeks...I will abandon you.)_

_..._

_... (Another)_

_..Nani…_

_What..._

_Nani ga kimi ni itte da ne des ka? _

_What's causing you pain?_

_...Oishite jane des ka? _

_Can't you tell me what's going on?_

_Onegaishimas! Oishite kudasai! _

_Please! Tell me!_

_Kimi wa boku ni shijitte ja nai des ka? _

_(Can't you trust me?)_

_Anata wa ano nin-gen ni suki ja des - wakara des ne. _

_I know you love that person._

_Demo-_

_But-_

_Ano Ottoko wa...Kimi ni suki no hitori ja nai._

_That man...Isn't the only one that loves you._

_Just know this: You are loved._

_Sore wa uso ja nai. _

_Don't doubt it. (It's not a lie)_

_Kimi wa Hitori ja nai des. _

_You are not alone._

_Boku wa kimi ni gokago. _

_I'm with you._

_..Boku no shiro angeru...sama..._

_...My white angel..._

_datte- _

_So-_

_Watshi ni shinjitte kudasai._

_Trust me please._

_I won't ask you to love me,_

_I will ignore my feelings, and hide it deep inside my heart-_

_As a friend…_

_Yogatta ne..._

_It's a relief..._

_That I can be next to you..._

_Even if it might cause me pain..._

_na...Betsuni..iin ja ne des. _

_Well...It's really...Nothing._

_Nazenara..._

_Because.._

_...Suki des. Anata wa._

_I…love...you._

_...I won't hold back my tears, I won't stop them from flooding down my eyes if it is caused because I love you._

_Orewa wa Teme ni Suki ja nai._

_Boku wa omae ni Suki ja nai._

_Watashi wa anata ni Suki ja nai._

_(ALL)_

_I don't love you._

_I don't love you._

_I don't love you._

_I-with you,_

_..._

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors

Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb

Without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up) Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up) Wake me up inside

(Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up) Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up) Before I come undone

(Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become."

-From Evanescence, "Bring Me To Life"

_When you are without hope…_

_You need to ask someone to hurl you out from the dark._

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><p>OMG I had a hard time translating and editing this XD haha<p>

I had to delete all the Korean I've written while rewriting it in English ^^;

Well don't mind the horrible Japanese, for I SO know that it is terrible.

I just wanted to combine it with the English a little to make it sound...o.o I don't know XD haha Romanization XD

I never learned Japanese, so I'm requesting; no flames about that please ^^;

I know I may have a lot of errors.

As I've said; I didn't plan everything out completely.

And this can be a bit confusing. There are three people speaking.

This is a little based on the anime "Inuyasha" ^^ lol weird right?

It's like… If you have to compare them,

Inuyasha would be: Hollow Ichigo

Kikyou: :D Kon

Kagome: ICHIGO MUHAHA

Naraku: Aizen

Kouga: GRIMMJOW MUHAHA

And…More revealed later XD haha

I just set this up as I've always fantasized as a child. ._.

Well since I am a young girl, I've always had a "crossover" type of thing in my mind. But this is not a complete crossover since only the storyline is a BIT from Inuyasha, and the characters are all from Bleach. And I just set Kon as Kikyou type of character since Kagome is Kikyou's reincarnation? And Ichigo looks the same as Kon (when Kon's in Ichi's body XD LOL NONSENSE I KNOW JUST PUT UP WITH IT SORRY FOR THAT XD). Well I don't want to change their personality based on Inuyasha too, so I don't think I should have any OOC- ness. This is just...really nonsense, come to think of it. O.o LOL. So don't expect anything awesome from it. Well if anyone did read it, thank I give you my applaud XD

The characters are really not talking to anyone here. It's just their state of mind.

The Orange guy (LOL YOU SURELY HAVE TO KNOW WHO THAT IS XD)'s quote is later on, not right now. (Sorry it's confusing.) I'll just post this as chapter one since…yeah o.o Hard to explain why. Haha… UH TALKATIVE ALERT! O_O I gotta go now..bye guys! xD I don't even know if I'm gonna update now…o.o Sorry.


	2. Chapter 1

Hey guys! xD So I'm back to write it!

I was having a week with four consecutive days of practice exams for the state…

It was such a pain that it messed up my schedule to write. LOL!

Well I hope I can get to write more, and…

I'll get right into it.

Here comes the next chapter!

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><p><strong>My Only Ray of Light Chapter 1<strong>

The squeaks of birds…

…

I'm about to get tired of hearing them every single day.

I sighed and looked out the window. It was very bright outside.

Inside the classroom was very noisy; since it was a break time we had right before dismissal.

I supported my arm at the windowsill and was watching the outside scenery.

When I heard someone calling my name, I jolted slightly.

"Ichigo-"

"Huh….Uh? Oh, Renji."

Just as I was about to turn to the owner of the voice

I stayed still when I caught a familiar spot of red at the corner of my eyes.

"What… Your reaction's so boring."

Renji had his hands shoved into his pockets as he stared down at me.

Even if we always debate he is a friend who stayed by my side.

He is one of the fewest lists of people whom I trust.

Whenever my moods change he is the first one to notice it,

And as he seats himself next to me he questions and makes me smile.

I guess today… is the same as well?

Heh- a soft smile leaked out from the corner of my mouth.

"What- you smiled easily today?"

Upon saying this I am guessing that the redhead didn't notice his own lips curling upwards.

"I guess- because you're here? LOL."

"What? Ha-ha!"

The playful laugh was spread out as we didn't try to hide it.

After laughing together a while, I stopped and started to think.

Just then I called Renji's name gently.

I said his name so softly that my mouth's rooftop was tickled.

"Renji.."

"Hm? What, Ichigo?"

He answers kindly.

I hesitate for a while before starting to speak.

"I… think that something's going on around me these days."

…

"Huh? What…do you mean Ichigo? You sick somewhere?"

Renji looked surprised as he took his hands out of his pockets and placed them on my desk. He stared at me with widened eyes.

"Uh…No Renji. Not that…"

Though I felt awkward I felt appreciation from Renji's worries.

'_Yeah… If it's Renji I can trust him… He won't think of me as a retard…'_

After I gave it a thought I decided at last to talk.

"Uh ya know… Lately I've having these bizarre dreams… and whenever I'm still I hear some weird voice… It definitely gives me spooky feelings. When I've told my dad a little of this he said…what… something about ghosts or some crap? What the hell was he saying that damn creep… And I was being serious."

Renji was listening quietly and started to speak.

His long red hair stimulated my eyes to stare at it.

"Maybe it's because you have a lot of stress these days?"

"No… I think there's more to it than that. But… it's not like some kind of weird creatures exist in this century… Then what is it? Am I really retarded?"

Renji sat on top of my desk and started to rub his chin with his fingers.

He seemed to be having a lot of thoughts, and then said,

"Well…It certainly should not be that case…. Anyways get a lot of rests… Don't study too much. Pff! Haha. If you shove too many things into your head that pretty orange hair of yours will turn white."

"Hey, shut up! I already have in consideration that my hair is funny! You freaky redheaded bastard! Are you in the position to make fun of my hair color?"

"L.O.L, you surely don't change… I think that you're C.O.M.P.L.E.T.E.L.Y. normal."

Talking as he gives off another annoying smirk…

I stayed put since I didn't have anything to say. The bell rang then.

The students flowed noisily out of the room like rivers.

I packed my book bag quietly and slowly, then got up from my seat.

As I was about to step out of the classroom, I heard Renji calling me and stopped.

"Ichigo- I'll drop you off."

"Huh? But Renji- Is it okay?"

Upon Grinning Renji answered; "Of course I am! I'm just worried that you might faint at the street while thinking of those useless concerns!"

"HEY! You think I'm that weak! I'm quite strong! Everyone knows that."

-That was a truth.

I was pretty good in P.E, and was known well in my school.

Well… I guess half of my being famous is because of the overly noticeable orange hair of mine.

I've got plenty of friends as well.

As I've mentioned before, the ones whom I truly trusted were only a few.

I wasn't so bad in studying either. My grades were somewhere in the high scores.

If you get in the top 20's in the whole school, it's not bad, is it?

"Anyways let's go! Ichigo."

As we were walking home we discussed about a lot of subjects.

School…Friends…Family…Insulting girls…

Most of the topics were considered to be the regular stuffs that all of kids our age would talk about.

As cool breeze of wind caressed my back I closed my eyes lightly at the pleasant sensation.

I guess that only lasted until Renji had to remind me that you never close your eyes when walking on a street.

"Thanks Renji, see you tomorrow!

"No problem, anytime. Well I'll get going. Take care of yourself, Ichigo!"

"I'm not sick or anything! Take care of your own!"

After I ranted out Renji wasn't seen in my view.

I sighed and went into my house, only to look around and find no one.

… There's no one at home.

My sisters, Karin and Yuzu, must be at school still hanging around with her friends.

Then…the goatface…

"huh?"

I spotted a crumpled piece of paper on the kitchen table.

When I picked it up and read it;

"My DEAR LOVED SON! Your daddy will be out to do some jobs. I won't be back until late evening.

Keep the house clean!

Take care of your LOVELY sisters!

Don't study too much, for you will become a nerd!

And- Even if you think you're going to die in agony of missing this wonderful father, just manage to bear-"

Before I finished reading the last sentence I ripped the paper into tiny shreds and shoved it into the trash bin.

"You just have to say necessary things, why does this guy have to blab all useless crap?"

After I gulped on some water from the refrigerator I went up to my room.

Right when I opened the door I threw my schoolbag in laze and threw myself on my bed.

When the soft and comfortable sensation touched my body my eyelids got heavy in tire.

Just when I was about to fall asleep…

Again…the voice, the anonymous source of voice was heard in my head.

_"__Didn't I tell you?_

_That I would...Definitely seek you again._

_Then you..._

_…cannot run away anymore._

_I will return all the pain I received from you._

_If then..._

_You would have to..._

_Live your life in eternal vain."_

_Boku wa- Omae ni sagase._

_Sagase to...omae wa itami ni __watashimashita..._

_(I will search you. Search and… I will give you agony.)_

…

_**...**_

_**GASP!**_

"AHH!"

Shocked by the sudden voice, I picked up my upper body and looked around in terror.

Chills went down my spine and I was..afraid.

'_What…What is this!'_

I grabbed my hair with a lot of force, than got up and walked to the long mirror which was next to my closet. It was used to take a look at your whole body.

The reason I got that was because the guy called my shitty dad had to blab some shit like "men have to maintain their beauty as well! Ichigo, you have to look at yourself and realize it!"… And so I had to leave one at my room too.

I looked at myself through the mirror.

My hair and face was soaked with sweat, which was just messed up.

What the hell…

Freaked out just because of that kind of crap?

What's wrong with me…

As I was scolding myself and rubbing my eyes, I wasn't noticing…

_That the mirror before me was shining darkly…_

Huh?

"Wha..What? N..o!"

The mirror started pulling me.

I tried to resist and stop myself with all my strength but it was no use.

"D..Damn!"

The force was too strong for me to stop.

…

The power got stronger and at last I got swallowed by the darkness.

I thought I would be staying in the mirror itself, but I didn't stop and was somehow traveling in a passageway in the mirror.

Contradicting my will to go back, by body was moving in a tremendous force, to the opposite side of where I came from.

The interior was dark, and the only thing found when I looked around was only the cold _darkness. _

"Shit- what kind of situation is this crap?"

Just then, I saw a ray of light in front of me and saw the outside.

The speed of my traveling got faster and eventually my body started to fly in extreme high speed.

"Whoa!"

Suddenly I was thrown outside from the mirror passageway, and I fell down at the ground with a thump.

"Ow…Ah..damn…it.."

The complaint of pain lasted only for a second, and I realized just then about the situation I was in as I looked around.

"W..Where is this? Why am I…how..?"

No one was around, and the place seemed like a forest.

It looked like some kind of location where the people perform action scenes for samurai dramas.

The scenery was very bright, and was warm.

The green trees and grasses pleasured my eyes.

Nevertheless…

A feeling of discomfort.

This place seems so bright, though it seems to be drowning in sorry… Why?

It's like…

A miserable soul is sleeping here somewhere…

Wait-

It's not the time for me to be thinking about such things!

Where is this place- and why the hell am I here?

The heck's that mirror?

What the hell's…

Damn it… smashing the goddamn mirror is the first thing I'm gonna do when I go back!

_If I can go back at all, that is…_

W..Wait! What am I jabbering about?

O..Of course I can go back!

I..I'm sure I can…There's gotta be a way…I can find it…

Ah…If only Renji was here with me…_Huh?_

As I was looking around with such thoughts I saw a…coffin?

What's a coffin doing in this kind of area?

I approached it as I raised my eyebrows.

It was a little spooky but there might be a clue to where this place is…

Slowly- and cautiously I advanced.

The coffin seemed to be made out of old wood.

Seeing from the spider webs and the dusty state of it, I concluded that it was fairly old.

It looked like one of the old century's coffin that I saw from a museum from my class trip.

"What is this?"

The coffin was located next to a giant and old tree, and things like tree roots were tightened around it.

"I can't even open it if it's like that…"

I sighed and took my hand to the cover of the coffin just in case.

Then-

The metal- like roots released the coffin at the same time I took my hand to touch it!

"Huh? Wha..What's…"

As I witnessed the surprising scene I stayed speechlessly.

"Is this…some kind of… creepy…"

I started to feel anxious.

I didn't know what would be in it, or what would happen if I open the coffin.

What should I do…

I already have done something at this point.

The coffin seemed to be left in the old position for a long time.

Yet I don't know how but I've moved the roots and made the coffin get exposed…

Damn it- I don't know anymore!

Without giving it a lot of thought, I moved my hand to the cover of the coffin.

Creak-

With a horrifying sound the Coffin was opened by my hand.

Though I was petrified I looked inside- observing carefully and quietly.

**_*End of chapter 2*_**

_"Itai omoi wo sasete gomen nasai..."_

_(I'm sorry I caused you pain…)_

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><p>OMG I'M FINALLY DONE WITH THE CHAPTER!<p>

This story is going to be shorter in contents of the chapter, compared to the other fictions I'm writing. And plus the busy schedule, which I'm annoyed of

-_-.

Well I hope this was alright.

This story contains plenty of genres…

Some serious angst, drama…fantasy…action…adventure…Yaoi Romance…

Sad ending or a Happy ending is a mystery at this poing xD

Well I gotta work on the next chapter…

And HOPEFULLY I do have the time that the test has ended…

But the next month is the real exam and… (This was only the practice exam)

Thanks for those of you who read the story.

Reviews are always appreciated, and I thank you.


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